FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SEATTLE I’ll be performing a brand new edit of Rearing Your Tween, my parenting conference during the Short Run, Seattle’s small press fest at 11:30 AM!
Raising a child is like sculpting with clay. You can either sculpt a masterpiece worth a trillion dollars, or you can make a top-heavy monstrosity that will probably explode in the kiln. Your child is most malleable in their “tween” years, from age 10 to 13.
These years are incredibly challenging for both parent and tween alike. From dealing with bullies to the disgusting changes going on in their bodies, the trials and tribulations of owning a tween may make it seem hardly worth the trouble.
Luckily, artist Tom Van Deusen is here to help. With the aid of an elaborate PowerPoint presentation and a jazzy soundtrack, he will give advice that is darkly humorous, if not potentially damaging. So quit trying to find a foster parent for your tween on CraigsList and clear November 3, 2012 on your calendar, because you do not want to miss this life-changing event.
[NOTE: Parents are not recommended to follow any of Tom Van Deusen’s advice, and if they do, Tom Van Deusen can not be held responsible for any subsequent arrests. Also, Rearing Your Tween is not recommended for anyone under the age of 13, as Tom Van Deusen plans to use the “F” word a few times. Tastefully, of course.]